Have you ever felt influenced by the failures or fears of others around you? Is your thought process impacted by the toxicity of others? If yes, you need to pause and reflect and learn how to detach yourself from the negativity around you and operate in this philosophy or mindset that I have of “No Excuses”.
We often give advice to others to just “let go” of the things that bring them down, but are we able to take our own advice? Likely, the majority of us will fake it and “yes” to maintain our pride and appearance to others. But does that practice actually work for anyone? Um, NO. We need to start from scratch and knit our thought processes together carefully so that our thoughts and our actions align with this guidance.
Here is my take on how you can practice these teachings practically and embrace this philosophy that I live.
1. Understand the pattern
To detach yourself from the toxicity, you need first to understand the existing patterns and cycle of building negative thoughts. These patterns are often intense and can lead to a devastating and, sometimes irreversible, impact on our relationships, professional lives, and mental well-being.
With a little practice, you can distract yourself from the harsh inner critic and eliminate some of the unnecessary worry, stress, and anxiety. As you learn to identify these patterns, you can focus on wrestling down the negative thoughts. Understanding the triggers helps help you close the door of a dark place quickly.
2. Listen to your thoughts
Have you ever heard two opposing voices in your head? From my own personal experience, I have found myself torn between two – sometimes I say it’s the head versus the heart – the fact and data in front of me and the emotions it may trigger in me. So, how do I maintain my own philosophy of being unstoppable and sustaining my positivity? The technique is simple.
All you have to do is listen. Listen to those voices and talk them through – understand how your lived experience, your feelings and your emotional state may be triggering you. Not ignoring the emotion and thought is critical. Understanding where they came from contextualizes the thoughts and allows you to move through them, letting go as need be.
3. Step away when needed
The steps above are a way to fight the existing toxic behavior in your mind. However, there are times or certain circumstances where you might find yourself around external forces and people swirling with negativity and toxic vibes. So, what next? Much like recognizing and listening to your own negative thoughts, you need to recognize others who choose to externalize theirs. You need to recognize it in others who consistently share negative thoughts and unhealthy behaviour and learn to step away. Create your own safe space where you can keep your delicate thought process away from such unwanted negativity.
4) Value yourself
Self-love is the ultimate gift you can give to yourself. (Everything from here down needs to be completely re-written)